Book Review: Men and Women in the Church by Kevin DeYoung
Kevin DeYoung has set out to write a short, easy to read but biblically sound book introducing “the divinely designed complementarity of men and women as it applies to life in general and especially to ministry in the church.” (p15) I think he’s done just that!
The book is split into two sections. Part 1 is dedicated to exploring the Bible’s teaching on the topic of men and women. The first three chapters are a broad overview of the Biblical material with DeYoung drawing out the different teachings and patterns for biblical manhood and womanhood seen throughout the Scriptures. The rest of Part 1 explores four of the most relevant texts that teach on the roles of men and women both in the church and in the home. For the sake of brevity DeYoung, for the most part, doesn’t do this verse by verse. Instead, he focuses on answering some of the key exegetical questions raised by these passages as they apply to biblical man and womanhood.
Part 2 is devoted to answering common questions and objections to this topic and applying it to everyday life. When addressing objections DeYoung brings the Bible, and several other sources, to bear on this topic with ease and clarity. His application covers how to live as godly girls and boys through to how we follow Christ as grown men and women. He finishes the book with an interesting and thorough appendix explaining why he believes men alone should be delivering sermons in our churches.
There is a lot to love about this book! Here are some of the things that I found especially helpful or encouraging.
It’s clear DeYoung loves God’s word and cares deeply about its truths being understood, held to and lived out by God’s people. Despite knowing that his conclusions will be unpopular he boldly points out the ways our culture tries to redefine what it means to be men and women. He challenged me think about what cultural norms have crept into my heart and what ideas from the world are seeping into my reading of the Scriptures.
It’s technical but not too technical. There are several points where DeYoung explains different words from the Bible in their original language. This is important in order to help the reader understand the text. But at almost every point he’s able to explain it in a way that is easily understandable. At some points I even found myself wishing he had gone deeper into his exegesis (although he does warn us at the beginning this is not a commentary on 1 Corinthians!) He also includes a solid bibliography for further reading which would be helpful if you wanted a deeper look into some of these texts. DeYoung’s ability to explain technical details in a clear and simple way makes the book a great resource for a wide audience. I’m thinking senior high schoolers and above.
He highlights how much God values the work women do in raising children. It’s a small point in the book but DeYoung points out the amazingness of women working with and raising children (p 42). As a full time stay at home Mum, I’ve often battled to see the work that I do as valuable to God’s kingdom. I appreciated DeYoung pointing out the value of motherhood. This truth is counter cultural and sorely lacking in society and often in our churches.
He speaks well to men (p 94-98) and especially husbands (Chapter 5). His application section for husbands is streets ahead of the similar section for wives. Maybe this is because he IS a man? But I think it’s more likely motivated by his belief that the onus is on men to live out the beauty and joy of this doctrine. He says, “Complementarianism is often caught before it is taught, and men are the ones who do the most to make complementarianism look like catching the flu or winning the lottery. So, guys, let’s not make the heartbeat of our message, “Women, sit down,” when it should be, “Men, stand up.”” (p 99)
However, I do have a couple of concerns about the book. It’s clear that DeYoung believes that complementarity is beautiful and good and should be celebrated! This doctrine should lead to freedom and joy and the building up of God’s people and society in general (p 118). And I couldn’t agree more! It is so easy for women engaging with this doctrine to end up feeling confused, restricted and deflated by it. DeYoung goes above and beyond to acknowledge how tricky it is to work out the practical applications for men and women, and that cultural context matters. It is clear that he values the ministry of women in many different forms and contexts. But if I’m honest, I did wonder about some of DeYoung’s application points (in particular some of the suggestions for women on pages 95 and 96 and some of his applications based on ‘what is clear from nature’ in chapter 9, specifically page 124). Perhaps it’s just that his context is very different to mine. But I’m concerned that people might be put off by some of his application and throw the baby out with the bathwater. I think this would be a huge mistake! There is so much goodness in this book! I almost wish De Young had stopped before applying anything and said ‘I’ve outlined what the Bible says about men and women. Now off you go and apply it in your own context. Do this with humility and in your local church community.’
And that is what I would suggest we do with this book. Read it together. Read it 1:1 with someone. Read it in small groups. Older women/men read it with younger women/men. Leadership teams read it together. Take the excellent parts of this book and work out how to apply them to our immediate contexts.
In our modern world, perhaps more than ever, our hearts and minds need a firm understanding of what God’s word says about his design for men and women. I think reading this book in community with each other will help us.
Sarah is wife to Troy and serves alongside him and the Saints at St George North Anglican Church. Before becoming a full time mum Sarah had the great joy of serving on the staff there as Children's Minister for 10 years. She now spends her days encouraging young women and other mums whilst running around after a wild and articulate 2 year old and growing a half baked bun in the oven. She loves a good coffee, a flakey pastry and a sit in the sunshine.