Conversation with Finn on Families
Finn: Mum, are you sad that you didn’t have any girls? I sometimes hear people say to you they don’t know how you do it with three boys, and poor you because you don’t have a daughter… do you wish that you had a girl?
Mum: I’m sorry you’ve heard people say that. Because it’s totally wrong to think that one gender is better than another. I wouldn’t swap any of you boys for a girl!
F: That’s just because you have us now!
M: True, but also as a Christian I really believe that God creates each person intentionally as they are being made in the womb. And God knows what he’s doing! I trust that he has given our family exactly who he intended. And what’s best for our family.
F: What do you mean ‘what’s best for our family’?
M: Well, God’s made each person and each family special and unique. No two families are the same. Some have children who are all boys, some have all girls, some have a mix. And part of his wonderful plan for us is to have all sorts of different families for people to grow up in.
F: But did you ever want a girl?
M: If I’m honest, yes I did always want both boys and girls. But when each of you came along I knew that you were a precious gift from God. I had actually prayed and asked God for a daughter and clearly his answer to that prayer for me has been no. But part of following and trusting him means that even when I can’t understand why, I can trust that God knows what’s best. He heard my prayer and his answer was no.
F: Sometimes you say no to me and I wish the answer was yes.
M: That’s right.
F: And I feel sad.
M: Yes, I think it’s totally ok to feel sad. But do you know, not long after we had finished having all you kids I once met someone who had all boys. She was so bitter about the fact that God hadn’t given her a daughter, that it was robbing her of the joy that she had in her sons. I never wanted to be like that.
F: What do you mean it robbed her joy?
M: Well, can you remember seeing that cute toddler the other day at the shops who had a lollipop in each of her hands as she sat in the trolley? But she saw their older sister having a different flavour lollipop and so she threw a tantrum.
F: Yep, it was kind of funny cos she had her own lollipops.
M: Exactly! But by focussing on her sister’s lollipop and how much she wanted it, she lost sight of the lollipop she already had. Focussing on what you don’t have, robs you of the joy in what you already do have.
F: Hmm..so you’re saying she should have been thankful for what she had?
M: Absolutely. But sometimes that doesn’t come easy, so I need to keep reminding myself from God’s Word that he’s been so good and generous to me. Like James 1:17, which tells us every good gift comes from God. The more I keep coming back to Bible verses like that, the easier I find it to remember to be thankful, and not be robbed of my joy in the wonderful gifts God’s given me…like you!
F: Ohh…mum!
Dan & Chrissie Wu live in Newtown with their three boys Liam, Archie and Harry. Dan lectures in Old Testament at Moore College, and Chrissie is a part time Primary School teacher. In their spare time, they love outdoor activities like beach holidays, hikes and bushwalks, and trying to take their very lazy dog Banjo for walks.